The Making of a Mommy: New Regimen

Thursday, July 14, 2011

New Regimen

Mike and I took communion at home a few hours ago. We tried to thank God, praise Him and ask Him to take away the sickness. Mike will re-start an out-patient chemo regimen in the morning. I'm not thrilled, but we have little choice. All we can do is see where this goes. I'm exhausted and heading to bed.

4 comments:

Nichole said...: Oh Lauren, my heart just breaks for you and Mike. I am so sorry you are faced with this all once again. I will be saying lots of prayers for strength and healing.

Love to you both!; July 14, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Anna said...: I am so thankful to God that you and DH have stepped out in faith and are taking communion at home.
I know it's hard to turn over total control to God, but it's the only way.
He will do this for your DH. When Jesus died at the cross he already paid for your husband's healing.

I sincerely hope you are not tired of comments/sharing of my daily devotional. I want you and DH to believe and receive God's healing as I have.

I hope you're both able to have a good night's rest.
Will be praying with you tomorrow.

God Bless,; July 14, 2011 at 8:07 PM
Anna said...: This devotional is titled:

Believing Is Receiving (Mark 5:28-29)

You have heard people of the world say, "I will believe it only when I see it." Generally, that is the way the world thinks. But God's ways are not like the ways of the world. The world says, "If I can't feel it or see it, I cannot believe the miracle is here." God says, "If you believe it before you feel it or see it, you will see your miracle."

Believing first before seeing the evidence of what we are believing for is called faith. Faith is like a spark and Jesus is the dynamite powder.

In the story of the healing of the woman with the issue of blood, there were many people who touched Jesus (Mark 5:31), but nothing happened to them. They didn't touch Him in faith. But when the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years came to Him and touched Him in faith, He felt power leave His body (Mark 5:30, and it sparked off an explosion of healing in the woman's body!

Hearing about how good, kind and loving Jesus was fired her faith to believe that He could and would heal her. So convinced was she (even when the condition in her body was still evident) that she said, "If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well." Did she experience her healing first before she believed? No, she believed first in Jesus's goodness and power, acted in faith and only then felt the healing in her body.

In the same way, God wants you to believe in His goodness and love toward you. He wants you to know how willing He is to act on your behalf to bless you, and how, with Christ, He will freely give you every good thing. (Roman 8:32)

He wants you to declare by faith that all is and shall be well with you, and to expect to see just that. And then, no matter how long you have had the problem, no matter how bad the experts say it is, an explosion of healing and restoration will take place, and you will receive what you are believing for!; July 14, 2011 at 8:21 PM
Anna said...: Lastly, I just want to share my favorite definition of faith.

Faith is trusting in God's love.

This little definition has made it so much easier for me to hold on to faith in times when the natural eye is looking to "believe only what it sees."

So my prayer for you and DH this night is to have faith. Trust in God's love. For God so love you and DH that He sent his only son to die for your health, your wholeness, your righteousness. All that Christ is... so are you, because you've accepted him. Trust in that love. It can move mountains.

Many Blessings,
Anna; July 14, 2011 at 8:37 PM

Where We've Been....

July 2001 -- Mike and I start dating (a long-distance relationship with 4.5 hours between us -- lots of weekend driving).
February 2003 -- Mike is diagnosed with lymphoma. He banks his sperm twice before beginning chemo, radiation, and having a bone-marrow transplant (he has 13 vials). He spends over a year recovering and rebuilding his strength and immune system.
December 2003 -- Mike proposes and we get engaged!
November 2004 -- We get married, and shortly thereafter I move the 4.5 hours to be with him -- no more long-distance romance!
September 2006 -- Mike is diagnosed with a recurrence of his cancer and begins several months of radiation treatment. Three weeks after getting the cancer news, we are blessed with a phone call from a relative saying we can begin our search for an IVF clinic -- the attempt will be taken care of, free of charge.
December 2006 -- we have our first consultation with our RE, and she recommends IVF over IUI, due to our limited sperm supply.
April/May 2007 -- We plunge into our first IVF attempt, but it does not work. We are left with five frozen embies, in addition to 12 vials of sperm.
June 2007 -- I am just weeks away from starting estrace to prepare for a frozen embryo transfer when we find out Mike has another recurrence of cancer.
July 2007 -- Mike begins chemo, which continues until September.
November 2007 -- Mike returns to work!
March 2008 -- We're ready to try the FET! I begin estrace and monitoring.
April 2008 -- We transfer two embies, but again it does not work.
Summer 2008 - Fall 2011 -- We took a break until we could get health insurance that covers IVF, but more importantly until Mike tried to beat yet more cancer recurrences.
October 14, 2011 -- My world is shattered when Mike succumbs to cancer.
Present -- Trying to learn how to live without my best friend and lover. Trying to figure out what kind of future I can possibly have. Trying to decide if I will/can ever fulfill my dream of having a child.