Tomorrow evening I'm going to a free seminar being offered by an area fertility clinic -- not the one we've been using. I've heard some good things about it, and figure I have nothing to lose by checking it out. I can't say our regular clinic is doing anything wrong or even that they're necessarily missing something, but can it hurt to see what other places have to offer? Part of it also is that I know we're many months away from starting a cycle, so going to this seminar actually makes me feel like I'm doing something to bring us closer to having a baby.
I'll give a full report in the next day or two.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me
I turn 34 today. Yikes! 34? I feel more like 24, which is good I guess, but where have the years gone? At least I don’t have that sick-to-my-stomach knot I got the night before I turned 30. That was a weird feeling. I’m taking 34 a little more in stride – so far.
Today is also Good Friday. Last year on Good Friday (which was March 21 – Easter was earlier last year), I had my FET. I was looking for some symbolism in that day, but, oh, well. Today though, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy my birthday, which falls on my favorite day of the week. I’m not going to focus on what I don’t have (children), but focus on what I do have – a healthy husband, who is getting better and stronger every day, a wonderful family (who sometimes drives me crazy, but whom I couldn’t live without), good friends and a bright future with blessings on the horizon.
I already opened two of my three birthday presents from Mike (a great warm fleece with my favorite baseball team’s emblem on it, and a worship CD) and I get one more tonight. Feels like Chanukah! LOL
My sisters-in-law will also be stopping by later to see me (more presents!) and my brother might even come over.
Yup, I’m going to enjoy it. I’ll worry about what 34 means tomorrow. ;)
Today is also Good Friday. Last year on Good Friday (which was March 21 – Easter was earlier last year), I had my FET. I was looking for some symbolism in that day, but, oh, well. Today though, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy my birthday, which falls on my favorite day of the week. I’m not going to focus on what I don’t have (children), but focus on what I do have – a healthy husband, who is getting better and stronger every day, a wonderful family (who sometimes drives me crazy, but whom I couldn’t live without), good friends and a bright future with blessings on the horizon.
I already opened two of my three birthday presents from Mike (a great warm fleece with my favorite baseball team’s emblem on it, and a worship CD) and I get one more tonight. Feels like Chanukah! LOL
My sisters-in-law will also be stopping by later to see me (more presents!) and my brother might even come over.
Yup, I’m going to enjoy it. I’ll worry about what 34 means tomorrow. ;)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Unofficial Blog Design Poll
The other day I changed my blog background using a template from thecutestblogontheblock.com. I can see it fine on my home computer. When I checked it at work though, it didn't come up. I just had a solid, dark blue background -- no design. I thought it might be our work's filter that wouldn't allow my blog to pull information from that site, but when I checked a couple other blogs which use similar backgrounds, theirs came up. What gives?
So, just wondering what you all see when you look at my blog. If you would, just leave a comment to let me know. I get all detective-like with this stuff and have to know why things don't work! :)
So, just wondering what you all see when you look at my blog. If you would, just leave a comment to let me know. I get all detective-like with this stuff and have to know why things don't work! :)
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I've Got a New Attitude
It seems like ages since Mike and I have talked about TTC again in any real, concrete terms. Today, we did.
I used to be a regular poster on one of the WebMD support pages, and from that support group I started keeping in touch with a girl who uses the same fertility clinic as us. I hadn't been in touch with her in a very long time, and I hadn't lurked on WebMD in months. Today, for some reason, I popped over to WebMD and just scanned the posts to see if anyone I knew was even still on there. Lo and behold, I saw a post from the aforementioned girl -- and she's now pregnant! I immediately e-mailed her to congratulate her and find out the specifics. Turns out she switched fertility clinics -- after years and years of trying, and three failed attempts at the old place -- and got pregnant in her first cycle there. I couldn't believe it. She raved and raved about this new place and said, "I can't say enough about them best clinic around in my opinion."
When I told all this to Mike, it opened up a dialogue that I'd been hoping to have for the longest time, but didn't want to start because I knew his recovery is still our main concern. But he actually said a few things that surprised me. He told me we should give this new place a look, and even agreed that I should go check out their open house in a few weeks. He also said that he would have no problem in eventually taking out a loan to cover our next cycle. Excuse me? What have you done with my husband?
This last statement really shocked me, because for the past couple years we've been making debt reduction a top priority. We just finally sent our last payment for my student loan, and we're on a fast track to paying off our credit cards, car and his medical bills. To add another huge debt for IVF would seem unthinkable. But Mike said he knows how important this is, and this is something worth paying for. We talked about really pounding away at the debt for the next several months -- while he's also continuing to recover and get his immunity back to normal -- and depending on where we're at later this year, we can start looking again towards another cycle.
It's like this cloud lifted from me. I can't say I've been depressed lately, but I've started to feel like trying for a baby is a lifetime away. I'm going to be 34 next week, and while I don't feel old, I can't deny that I'm approaching that magic age when time won't be on my side. That scares the hell out of me.
Since this afternoon I've started to feel like I have a goal again, like I can look forward and plan. I'm reassured that all this longing isn't just living in me, but in Mike as well. It is nice to talk about the future and start to plan a life again. My attitude has been changed.
I used to be a regular poster on one of the WebMD support pages, and from that support group I started keeping in touch with a girl who uses the same fertility clinic as us. I hadn't been in touch with her in a very long time, and I hadn't lurked on WebMD in months. Today, for some reason, I popped over to WebMD and just scanned the posts to see if anyone I knew was even still on there. Lo and behold, I saw a post from the aforementioned girl -- and she's now pregnant! I immediately e-mailed her to congratulate her and find out the specifics. Turns out she switched fertility clinics -- after years and years of trying, and three failed attempts at the old place -- and got pregnant in her first cycle there. I couldn't believe it. She raved and raved about this new place and said, "I can't say enough about them best clinic around in my opinion."
When I told all this to Mike, it opened up a dialogue that I'd been hoping to have for the longest time, but didn't want to start because I knew his recovery is still our main concern. But he actually said a few things that surprised me. He told me we should give this new place a look, and even agreed that I should go check out their open house in a few weeks. He also said that he would have no problem in eventually taking out a loan to cover our next cycle. Excuse me? What have you done with my husband?
This last statement really shocked me, because for the past couple years we've been making debt reduction a top priority. We just finally sent our last payment for my student loan, and we're on a fast track to paying off our credit cards, car and his medical bills. To add another huge debt for IVF would seem unthinkable. But Mike said he knows how important this is, and this is something worth paying for. We talked about really pounding away at the debt for the next several months -- while he's also continuing to recover and get his immunity back to normal -- and depending on where we're at later this year, we can start looking again towards another cycle.
It's like this cloud lifted from me. I can't say I've been depressed lately, but I've started to feel like trying for a baby is a lifetime away. I'm going to be 34 next week, and while I don't feel old, I can't deny that I'm approaching that magic age when time won't be on my side. That scares the hell out of me.
Since this afternoon I've started to feel like I have a goal again, like I can look forward and plan. I'm reassured that all this longing isn't just living in me, but in Mike as well. It is nice to talk about the future and start to plan a life again. My attitude has been changed.
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