The Making of a Mommy: Dipping My Toe Back in the Water

Friday, July 30, 2010

Dipping My Toe Back in the Water

Now that we're back from vacation and need to get re-focused on our goals and priorities, we decided to re-schedule our consultation with the potential new RE. We will meet with him on the morning of September 13.
As you may recall, we were scheduled to meet with him last November (on our wedding anniversary, actually) in the hopes of starting another cycle in February or March of this year. Three days before that meeting was to take place, we got the news of Mike's last recurrence and once again we were thrust into survival mode. All else was shoved to the back of our minds. Now, we're ready to once again toy with the idea of attempting to become parents. It's just talk, but it's better than survival mode. I want to meet with this doctor and see what he's like. I want to hear his opinion about our case based on the records that were sent over to him. I want to pepper him with questions, and (hopefully) hear him calm my ever-increasing uneasiness about now being 35 (and a quarter, not that I'm counting or anything....).
I am simply amazed at how fast time is going -- the days, the weeks, the seasons -- and I don't want to waste any more time. When we finally decide we're reading for blood work, injections, ultrasounds and the rest of the IVF whirlwind, I want to have all our ducks in a row and hit the ground running.
Let's roll.

1 comment:

Jenn said...: It looks like you had a lovely vacation! I wish you luck with your upcoming appointment. Cycling creates so many emotions but for me, not cycling created so many more. Hang in there my friend ~ September will be here before you know it! :); August 10, 2010 at 6:37 PM

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Where We've Been....

July 2001 -- Mike and I start dating (a long-distance relationship with 4.5 hours between us -- lots of weekend driving).
February 2003 -- Mike is diagnosed with lymphoma. He banks his sperm twice before beginning chemo, radiation, and having a bone-marrow transplant (he has 13 vials). He spends over a year recovering and rebuilding his strength and immune system.
December 2003 -- Mike proposes and we get engaged!
November 2004 -- We get married, and shortly thereafter I move the 4.5 hours to be with him -- no more long-distance romance!
September 2006 -- Mike is diagnosed with a recurrence of his cancer and begins several months of radiation treatment. Three weeks after getting the cancer news, we are blessed with a phone call from a relative saying we can begin our search for an IVF clinic -- the attempt will be taken care of, free of charge.
December 2006 -- we have our first consultation with our RE, and she recommends IVF over IUI, due to our limited sperm supply.
April/May 2007 -- We plunge into our first IVF attempt, but it does not work. We are left with five frozen embies, in addition to 12 vials of sperm.
June 2007 -- I am just weeks away from starting estrace to prepare for a frozen embryo transfer when we find out Mike has another recurrence of cancer.
July 2007 -- Mike begins chemo, which continues until September.
November 2007 -- Mike returns to work!
March 2008 -- We're ready to try the FET! I begin estrace and monitoring.
April 2008 -- We transfer two embies, but again it does not work.
Summer 2008 - Fall 2011 -- We took a break until we could get health insurance that covers IVF, but more importantly until Mike tried to beat yet more cancer recurrences.
October 14, 2011 -- My world is shattered when Mike succumbs to cancer.
Present -- Trying to learn how to live without my best friend and lover. Trying to figure out what kind of future I can possibly have. Trying to decide if I will/can ever fulfill my dream of having a child.