I don't really dream about infertility or having kids -- at least, not in a way that leaves any lasting impression or pain. Friday night I had a quick, but interesting dream. I was by myself (not sure where Mike was at the time) in the second-floor bedroom of some house. I was holding an infant, I think a newborn, and my impression was that the baby was my cousin Alex (who is actually 22 years old now). It was just the two of us in the room, and even though she was a baby, she could talk to me. I was holding her, and then I put her down on the bed and laid down next to her. I think I was crying a bit, and I just said to her, "When you see Jesus, please ask Him to bless us with a baby." The next thing I remember in the dream was my uncle, her dad, walking back into the room (which was what made me think this baby was my cousin).
That was it. It was very brief, but I was struck and confused by what I said to her.
I haven't prayed for a baby, specifically, in a while. Most of my prayers have been focused on Mike's healing, and the usual general health and safety of my loved ones.
Should I be praying for a baby? Is that God's way of speaking to me and reaching out to me? He says to bring all our concerns and petitions to Him, but this is one concern I've kind of given up on lately. Plus, I keep telling myself that we will never have a "miracle baby" outside an IVF clinic. It just can't happen. So until we're ready for IVF again, how can we be blessed with a baby?
Maybe I'm just over-thinking things.
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